The Reason Why
by Bcru
Summary: I had always felt Gamma was hiding something behind his arrogant mask, so I've kinda decided to write something that turn him into what he is. This can be considered as an AU, I guess.


How do you usually hide something you don't want to show? By hiding it, it means it doesn't exist for any other people who aren't you. Hiding your emotions and feelings can mean the same thing. If it isn't there, it's not real, right? What happens if, your emotions started to destroy you, your image, your relationships?

This story is based on a true experience.

"You aren't even giving it your best! What do you think you can do if you don't study hard enough?!" a woman yelled at her son as she finished the last document she needed.

"Even if I tried my best, you keep saying I didn't! That was my best!" the boy yelled back at his mother.

"Gamma, if you really did try your best, you wouldn't have flunked the test." the boy, Gamma, was beyond pissed.

Never once had his parents ever listened to what he wanted to learn, and now, he failed every test he took. He wanted to study Arts after he left Junior High, but his parents kept on pushing him to study Science instead. Now, they blamed him for not doing his best and flunking on every test he faced.

Unlike his elder brother and sister, they aced every subject they personally chose. Gamma knew their parents allowed them to do so because it was what they said 'had a future to look forward to'. Gamma didn't like Science personally, he isn't interested in human anatomy or how organs work. Instead, he was more interested in Arts, believing that one simple structure of art can say thousands of words.

"Hey, Gamma? You in there, kiddo?" he knew that voice even if he was deaf, not that he can possibly hear if he is deaf.

"Go away, Mr. Perfect!" Gamma didn't know what possessed him to call his brother what he did.

Gamma knew he wouldn't move, his brother was always like that. Always want to be there for him, and he hated it. He hated how he always needed to depend on his brother be there for him, he hated how weak he seemed.

"Just leave him alone, Germanus, give him some time to clear his head." another voice, it belonged to their sister.

Their sister was named Genevieve, she was the eldest among the three, also the smartest. She could solve and equation faster than Gamma could eat a chocolate bar. But if you compare the three of them, Gamma is nothing like Genevieve and Germanus, not in a good way.

Gamma didn't need time to clear his head, he wanted out of this place and he wanted out, PRONTO!

~Years Passed~

Gamma remembered it all too well. He had remembered how Genevieve had practically begged one of their parents to attend her graduation because she was receiving an award for getting the best results in English. How they said they were proud of her. How she wanted him to be the best at something as well. It stressed him out, to the point he sat on the balcony outside his class.

"What happened to you?" Rujiku asked as he passed by.

Rujiku had been Gamma's friend since he moved to that school. They stuck together like glue, though Gamma would admit he made Rujiku mad once by accidentally hitting the side of his face while trying to get his notebook back from him. The notebook contained an embarrassing note that no one was supposed to see. Rujiku didn't talk to him for two to three days. Gamma was afraid he might lose the only friend he had since transferring to that school.

It wasn't until they were taking their mock exams that his sister said that he had to get 'The Best' in at least one subject, either it's his favorite, information and communication technology, or English.

'Ok, I wasn't stressed out before, but now I am super stressed.' Gamma thought to himself.

In the past two years he was in High School, he was sent for counseling due to too much pressure he had received not from school, but from his own family. He knew if he had shown any negative emotion at all to his family, they would say that he is just too spoiled an will always think of himself.

So he trained himself to hide his emotions whenever he is around his family, so as he doesn't get into trouble. Gamma knew he couldn't do much if he was really broken.

So he made up an idea, turning his negativity, depression and anxiety into arrogance. The more he was emotionally harmed, the more arrogant he became.

Until one day...

"Gamma, you've changed." it was Rujiku, and knowing him, Rujiku never lies about anything.

"For the better or the worst, who cares?" Gamma had changed dramatically since he had started hiding his emotions.

Turning his emotions into arrogance, he managed to escape his family's fury, even if it means getting kicked out of the house. He's been living with Kuosu ever since. Kuosu and him came to an understanding since the both of them had parents who always have very high expectations.

When they weren't trying to get each other drunk illegally, or smoking out in the backyard, they would have a talk about their previous lives and seemingly understood each other and their personal achievements their parents don't appreciate.

Though over the years, Gamma and Rujiku lost touch. Eventually, they became nothing but strangers. Until...

When Gamma turned 19, he met his old friend again when they both were chosen to be part of Protocol Omega, difference? None. They both were put on the strongest team of Protocol Omega.

Gamma still tends to talk to Kuosu about his emotional difficulties and sometimes consult their Master about it.

Surprise was, he and Rujiku managed to get back on track with each other even though they stopped talking for one whole year.

So now you know, exactly how if someone is happy, doesn't mean they are okay. If they are smiling, doesn't mean they are happy. If they say they are alright, but something feels off, try to be understanding when they want you to be there for them.

Don't regret on some mistake you might make, don't change who you are. You are who you are, no one can say you aren't.

Be yourself, and be proud.

Also, do not push others to do want you want them to, you might end up breaking them rather than saving them.


End file.
